Blizzard today in Southern Connecticut, USA with sub zero wind chills predicted and a foot of snow, but nowhere near as bad as where my 90-year-old JW in-laws live in Fredonia, New York. They are only an hour north of Eire, Pennsylvania where they have had 7 feet of snow since Christmas!
Sail Away
JoinedPosts by Sail Away
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45
COLD today
by wasone init's a cold 13 degrees fahrenheit in tennessee this morning where i live.
glad i'm retired and don't have to work outside today.
what about where you live.
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Anxiety, OCD, Hoarding, and the JWs
by Spiral ini'm noticing what seems to be a higher incidence of the above among the local jws than in the "general" (read: worldly) population.
i don't say this lightly, my wanderings around the fringes of jw society locally is revealing an alarming trend here.
the poverty doesn't help (there are good jobs, but you need a degree or qualifications to get one).. anyone else see this?
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Sail Away
I have been highly stressed. I feel like I'm handling things fairly well, but then I start having nightmares in which I begin to have panic attacks. I have lucid dreams, so I can often wake myself up or change something in the dream to ease the painic.
The triggers for this always seem to be related to situations where I have little or no control or say, such as while going through TSA check points or customs and immigration at large international airports when the agents are harried and yelling at paying customers. I get overwhelmed and confused which doesn't help. Even thinking of public speaking does it too.
I was having panic attacks and or dissociating during ministry school talks during the last 10 of my 42 years in. Think about how much they controlled even in that one situation-- as a sister, they assigned your partner, your counsel point, the theme, the setting (Our school overseer seemed to get perverse pleasure from pairing you up with an inappropriate partner for the given material or a bizarre setting that would just never happen.), the material, the number of scriptures (not more than 3), the structure (intro, body, conclusion), notes or outlines only, no scripts (extemperaneous speaking preferred) and the timing with that damned bell. Don't even get me started on the control around assemblies and conventions.
I just got back from a trip overseas to visit family. My husband couldn't go, because of work and caring for his elderly parents. I don't fly internationally with my service dog (too fearful of what might happen to her.)
Today there is no food in the house, a blizzard is coming tonight, and I'm immobilized with my service dog on my lap on my couch, intermittently crying and shaking.
I've been in therapy since 2012 for PTSD and generalised anxiety disorder, and I've been out of the Borg for over six years.
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Avoiding Service Tips?
by Kohanic inback again!.
so as i'm still pimo and living under my parent's roof, how can i get out of service?
cause i really don't want to go and i feel dirty just knowing i could be influencing someone into this garbage..
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Sail Away
This approach may not be for everyone. I did business territory for years. Trust me, no one wants to do this, so you can really fake it, and the service overseer will be pleased. Just wander into a store. If they are busy, come back later, or not. If it's empty save one cashier, offer to leave something for the break room and leave. Since these are mostly employees, they are generally not rude. I'm sure the stuff ends up in the circular file! Sisters were instructed to skip mechanics, garages, etc. 'cuz, of course, the walls were lined with porn.
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The wife told me I think too much...
by James Mixon inplease tell me how not to think too much and get a good night sleep.
when i was a jw i didn't think too much because i knew everything, but now my mind works overtime.
how in the hell can i shut it down and stop the anxiety???
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Sail Away
James Mixon, have you tried meditation? Doing a body scan in the comfort of your own bed to get to sleep or get back to sleep after awakening can work wonders!
http://franticworld.com/free-meditations-from-mindfulness/
Sleep well,
Diane
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The speed with which I exited!!
by joe134cd ini was just thinking at how quickly the process was from pimi - pimo - pomo.
i must of spent about 10 years trudging along in the organization very unhappily.
but from the initial stages of learning ttatt to physically walking out the door the process took about 18 months.
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Sail Away
I was all in for 42 years from age 10 until age 52. Tremendous cognitive dissonance nearly killed me-- outpatient hospitalization for severe recurrent clinical depression and PTSD and an emergency hospitalization for toxicity from prescription over medication in less than six month's time.
Walked out of a Service Meeting knowing I had hit the wall and just couldn't do it any more.
Spent six weeks on my couch thinking through my doctrinal issues and unjust treatment of friends and family through the years. I didn't talk about it with anyone, as I didn't want to be influenced. I wanted it to be my decision. Got up and told my 30-years-faded husband, DF'd son and daughter who walked away at age 17 that I wasn't going to be a witness anymore. Still a believer; just done. I wasn't going to shun my son. Case closed.
Took my son's former MIL to the District Assembly as promised. Laughed at the whole 'the feet in Daniel's dream image mean nothing' stupidity ( I had called bullsh*t on the overlapping generation crap the year before.) and thought, "These are bobbled headed Stepford Wives."
Two weeks later served the substitute C.O. and his wife lunch, but didn't go to the meetings.
Read The God Delusion (recommended by hubby), Crisis of Conscience and JWfacts in one week's time. The Internet sealed the deal.
From believer to POMO in three month's time from when I walked out of the Service Meeting until I knew it was a complete lie and a cult.
Resigned a few years later when I couldn't tolerate being stalked by the local small town JWs any more. Threatened to sue if they came on my property or announced my name from the platform. Not a peep since, and I'm not being shunned (yet).
At this point I simply don't care. 6.5 years out, happy and free!
Diane
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November Is The Cruelest Month
by JRK ini have been going through old papers and photographs since my mother passed away.
it has reminded me of some of the reasons that i really hate november.
this year has added to it obviously.. thirty-four years ago, my father passed away in early november.
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Sail Away
JRK, your mom sounds like an extraordinary woman. My heart goes out to you. I, too, am struggling with loss. The nursing home my mom is in has been calling every day. My mom's physical health is declining. It is time. She has no memory, no ability to communicate and no quality of life. She in in the end stages of Lewy Body Dementia. My youngest sister was just diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. I'm just feeling so sad and at a loss.
My husband has spent the entire week helping his JW parents. My mother-in-law fell and broke her hip and shoulder, and my father-in-law fractured his back helping her to her bed. There has been some healing. My father-in-law has been quite appreciative of my husband's help. It's an extraordinary man who can help his aging parents after nearly 50 years of shunning. You sound like that kind of man to me.
May you find peace,
Diane
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Congregation dwindles
by wannaexit ini think we are going to be seeing lots more of this stuff.
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http://www.capjournal.com/news/pierre-jehovah-s-witnesses-put-up-smaller-kingdom-hall-to/article_e05d9c36-d8b9-11e7-acb3-9f63fb65c896.html.
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Sail Away
Interesting to hear. I "pioneered where the need was great" in Oakes, North Dakota in 1976. At the time there were 50 publishers-- all related to one another. Looks like nothing has changed!
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What Makes Someone Become a JW?
by minimus inmy excuse is that i was born in the religion.
but if someone wasn’t, why would they become one?.
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Sail Away
I had an alcoholic father who was a serial liar and cheater. My parents wanted a boy, but had four girls first. My mother had post-partum depression with psychosis after each pregnancy. To say that family life was unstable and insane would be an understatement. The witnesses promised a happy family life. What nine year old wouldn't want that? My family studied for two years and then stopped. My father had no problem with the witnesses continuing to "study" with me and allowed me to get baptised at age 16.
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So my PIMO Younger Brother Tried To Kill Himself Today
by pale.emperor inwe all know that this cult will drive those trying to leave to desperate measures, and today by brother was very nearly one of those statistics.
he slashed his thigh with a kitchen knife and was bleeding out until he called the police.. i got a call on my way home from work from a police officer, coincidentally it was one of my old friends from school who's now a cop.
he told me my brother is in hospital after an attempted suicide and has lost some blood but will be ok. but i should get to the hospital as he's asking for me.
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Sail Away
Pale.emperor, I am so very sorry. There are just no words, nothing to say to make it better when a beloved family member gives up on life. I have been there with my son and thankfully, we came out the other side. Clearly this cult, the mind control and the cognitive dissonance are killing your brother. I'm so glad he reached out to you and am hoping he recovers and gains freedom of heart and mind. Please remember this is not your fault.
Hugs,
Diane
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I yelled at a Dub today!
by kairos ini was walking out of the store and i passed a former jw associate of 20+ years.
"keith"he was an elder, got df'd, lost his wife, got reinstated and last i heard started pioneering!so i see him as i'm walking to my parking spot.. i stop, look him straight in the face and yell from 20 feet away, "you're in a cult.
you're in a cult, dude!".
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Sail Away
Kairos, it is clear that you are suffering. I'm truly sorry for that and can empathize. It seems, though, that you are inflicting even more pain on yourself, while the locals are just having their persecution complex and self-righteousness fed.
Please do find a way to calm yourself and be well.
Hugs,
Diane